We have all heard it before. You don’t know what you don’t know. So how are you supposed to make decisions? This is true in life, in business, in work.
All the way from our first breath we are learning new skills, from our parents, our family, teachers, friends, from our own experience. So how do we learn to divorce? Who teaches us what we need to know to navigate, go through the process, heal and thrive through a divorce? To date, answers are generally “Well, I had a friend, uncle, sister who went through it.”. Or “I wouldn’t even know where to start.”. And the best is “I had a really great lawyer…”. And that’s the truth, people are making decisions based on other peoples circumstances. Or Hiring a professional before they know there are MANY options. So…
BEFORE you start, before you call the lawyer, before you even make that final decision, you should be informed. I AM A HUGE PROPONENT OF INFORMED DECISION MAKING. The process is very personal for each couple, but there is some key knowledge you really should know before making life altering decisions. Some mistakes are made even before the first call to a lawyer. Some can’t be recovered. You wouldn’t want to make a life altering decision only to find out the information you had based your decision wasn’t all true.
So where do you start? Start by knowing your rights, your options. There are as many choices as there are individuals, but you should KNOW some components before you even make your decision. You wouldn’t buy a house without first knowing how to evaluate it for safety and stability, how come up with the money and make a good financial decision. To ask about the age of the windows, furnace, roof? Who makes the offer, the lawyer or the real estate agent? How do you pick a real estate agent or lawyer? What about possession day, and movers? Insurance and taxes, land title….There are so many pieces to the “simple” task of buying a home. Divorce is no different.
Gaining knowledge from the perspective of making an informed decision serves everyone’s best interests. Yours, your partner’s, and any children you make have. Informed decision making isn’t about ruining each other, using it against each other. It is about making good decisions with the proper information. And when you are in a stressful situation you need to know as much as possible to make the best decisions.
So before you make the decision to divorce, get some facts. Inform yourself. Knowledge never hurts.